Allergy Coma
May 8, 2008
I suppose “allergy coma” describes it well.
This entire week I’ve been in a cloud of complete daze and strange, aloof, sort of fatigue.
They gym has been utter torture, and I’ve been slipping.
Which makes me so frustrated.
I had all this buildup of excitement for last night. Between Baggot closing so this being the last Wednesday. And Steve coming into town with Jay. And the Rebel event at Rockwood.
And of course yesterday was stunning out and I enjoyed the day. And then as soon as evening struck, I felt like a blob of nothing. Poor Steve must think I’m a loon. We ate while I interrogated him about his life in South Carolina. He lives in a beach-house! Rosi was amazing. She has a very pretty voice, and when she sings even really high notes she doesn’t look like she’s straining herself at all, which makes it a beautiful thing to watch. I’m not sure if I’m really confused about my position with Rebel or not. Last night all I wanted to do was run and hide in a corner. Maybe I’m good at talking to people just because I have nothing else to offer the music scene, so I got friendly to do something. But I don’t like being that person with the clipboard convincing people to sign up. I can’t be talkative on command. In fact, last night made me think I might actually be socially awkward if I’m not in a friendly mood. I spent most of the Rebel even standing on the sidewalk talking to people who joined. Adam’s a little sweetheart. And he’s funny too. It amuses me so much how the entire music scene is so small. It’s borderline incestuous. Everyone plays together. Everyone overlaps. But it’s kind of comforting. Nico was adorable too. She was all tipsy and friendly and witty. And while I stood next to her in my cloud of daze I wished I could be her. But I wasn’t, I felt like a shadow removed from everything in front of me, and eventually I realized I could not stay. I could not even stay to see Jay. And so I hugged Steve goodbye, And all the other random people I met. And I went back to get the shuttle.
Turns out Baggot wasn’t even open for their last bluegrass night. Some sort of sewage leak.
Ugh. (on all accounts).
