It rained on the Gay Parade

I ran straight into the Gay Parade on the way to play with my SLR outside and around the world. Or NYC. So the parade was a perfectly good place to play. Vulgar things seem to be a big part of the whole act, but it was a  very interesting and enjoyable experience to witness the procession. And then it rained. It rained hard and thunder crashed and everyone got soaking wet. It rained on the parade. It rained on the gay parade. It was quite a beautiful contrast to all the rainbow colors to have the gray skies and overcast daylight. 

 

Music @ the Museum

She reminds me of a storybook character like Belle from Beauty and the Beast who popped out of the pages and came to sit here in this day and age and start singing whimsical songs. Her voice dances through all sorts of ranges like the most animated waltz, and her whole set is endearing like a performance of a child.

Shwa is a candid and hilarious human being. His songs are simply put, but some of the most cynical, blunt, and insightful creations I have ever heard. They are thoughts which I would think and usually not express unless I was sure the person I was speaking with was capable of going for that ride. His voice is intriguing like the guy who sings that song in Cruel Intentions, it’s intense and beautiful. And then if you’d cross that with the personality of a song like Puff the Magic Dragon you’d have an idea of what Shwa brings to the room. He’s lovely. 

Shadows

How much of art and music is actually just a mimicking act of other’s styles? Artists all chase after their own streak and try to harvest differentiation to bring to the table and to the ears and eyes of the whole world. But really the very fact that we’re so exposed to art and artist’s work all around us every day means that we’re not completely original. Elements will automatically infiltrate our consciousness and soil some of the creativity. The same goes for personalities. Being aware of oneself, ones strengths and weaknesses, and how different one is from is from other can just be a tainted perception. Every single one of those girls in my opinion were so drop dead beautiful that I felt every insecurity about my body flooding to the center stage of my mind. But now I know they all felt the same about me and about each-other. When will we get over the fact that others are blind to our imperfections, and that it is ok if we’re different and don’t fit entirely ‘in?’ Because really no-one does. Everyone has bits of originality. But at the end of the day we’re all just in this race called Human. Our chord progression might be a variation. But at the end of the day it’s all the same chords, and probably even the same genre. Every one is different. Yet at the same time everyone is just the same. 

A Twisted Game of Twister

When I was younger my Mum and ten and a half year older than me sister used to call me tall and lanky. When we were dressing up as The Wizard of Oz cast one year as a family, they even wanted me to be the scarecrow because of my long legs and arms. This memory disregards the fact that I am considered a kind of tiny girl and on the short side now, and I sometimes still think of myself with that long reed-like sort of image. But that doesn’t help me when I am being pulled in all directions. I am stuck in the middle and I try and see both sides and be optimistic from all angles. I see the anger. I see the hurt. I see the cruel. I see the apathy. I see the ignorance. And I see the blindness. It’s hard to be everybody’s friend when something crumbles. It’s like a really huge game of Twister- Everyone is intertwined and the game was fun and comforting even in it’s awkward twistedness. But now some people have fallen in their place, right down. Right on those colored dots, and everyone mingled in is being pulled down along with them. Who knows what will be left standing and positioned properly after all this? I certainly don’t know. Not even the tallest, lanky-est, scarecrow-like human could stretch all over and everywhere with ease.  

Technicolor

Rockwood during the day, is just another world. Sun streaming through the windows in place of the dark scenes peeking through the red velvet curtains is a wonderful change. A birthday party on a lazy Sunday afternoon is just what the doctor would have ordered for this case- I’m certain. The family our crew of musicians has become is quite charming and I couldn’t help feeling totally happy hanging out and listening to the tribute to her which the musicians all created by singing her favorites of each of their tunes. So though everything is so very uncertain right now in a macro prospective, those moments spent with the very best people I’ve known was extremely endearing. And apparently I ‘flared’ J by thinking of him and buying that pin. And apparently some other chick shares my passion for suspenders, for she was wearing them with little shorts and I was all impressed and wishin’ I had them on too. But at least Beauty rustled my hair and the evening was so lovely. And really it was lovely, because the only vibes in that room were ones of peace and love. So those gaps, which can make things so unpleasant, are slowly getting filled, by things falling into place…

Storms Brewing

There is something about heavy rain.

And thunder.

And lightening.

And Summer Storms.

Which evokes the most intense feeling of Life in me. It’s like a thrill which bursts a hidden bit of happiness inside of me and makes me remember how I used to hope and believe with the most optimistic faith that things would be a certain way for me in Love. When I heard those lyrics about two people who feel so entirely in love and know each other to the point that they have no inhibitions, and are one hundred percent content together.People now don’t even realize how far they take all the façade and role playing- they don’t even know who they are, and simply cannot be themselves- even with the greatest effort. And I know I could never be happy that way. So I know now that I’m done with all that. It’s ironic that playing an act is so much easier than being one’s self, but I am determined to do whatever it takes to be me. Because I know I used to believe I would find that certain kind of love. That kind which only lends itself to deep truth, mutual understanding, and freedom. And when I was driving down the dark twisty highway and the only light around me was the sporadic jolts of brilliant blue lightning, and the only sound behind my music was rain crashing down and claps of thunder…

That feeling of hope that I can still find it came rushing back to Life.

I think I’ll go to Boston…

At Harvard Square you can almost think you’re in the beautiful bits of NYC; but it’s as if it’s a sample dose of it. There are not twenty people playing live music for pennies in the vicinity- there are two. And they are playing “Wagon Wheel” together and that’s my favorite song, so I have no trouble skipping to the beat and singing along, and even giving them some money for it. The streets are also not lined completely with homeless or random beggars- there is one youngster dressed in black sitting rather contently on the side of the road with a cup singing, “I can get really annoying- shut me up, I can get really annoying shut me up…” to the tune of “she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes.” (What is it with people and singing random songs to that tune in every state??!- see an earlier post of mine for explanation).

Oh and Christopher Columbus Park was truly breathtaking…

Johnny Cupcakes

Johnny Cupcakes on Newbury Street had two big signs in their windows reading “0 carbs, 0 fat.” People just ahead of us walked in blabbing to each other how amazing that is, and were disappointed when the fellows behind the counter informed them that this was not a real bakery, but came to their aid, and pointed them in the direction of a bakery that does in fact have cupcakes.

Sex and The Beast

Sex and The City may be all the rage right now, but I have not seen it yet, and I have just seen Beauty and the Beast from start to finish (literally!) and I gotta say the magic lives on. It’s brilliant and captivating and never gets old. Maybe this is an aging lesson for us all. If you’re that good you can age and age and never get ‘old.’ But aside from that, it contains the same sort of relationship wit as any profound movie of today. “Flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep.” – those are the words of Clogsworth to the Beast when the Beast is brainstorming what special thing to give to Belle. This VHS viewing being after seeing a display of pink boxed Lindt chocolates as part of a Sex and The City arrangement in Borders. And I thought.
Some things never change…

Dangerous Beauty

I want to be the Keys and Strings* to Passion, Seduction, Betrayal, & A Scandalous Love Story.

With a glass of red next to me. That way I won’t have to get involved, and my emotions are not in danger, but at least I can play a part in all the drama. I would have an intimate role in Love without getting hurt by it.

Sounds just about right.  Maybe.

*read: piano & violin