Uncertainty & Opportunity

They say that uncertainty breeds opportunity. I certainly hope it does for me. January keeps getting closer, and with that, my deadline for choosing at least the first step in my journey of life after college. PR, nonprofit, Law, and loads of things in the Music industry have already been sampled by me during my time as an undergraduate student. Each were either a waste of time, or just eye opening as a possible interest losing its possibility. I suppose it’s better to learn that while doing it temporarily, than after college, when you have to stick it out for longer. But point is, that now I’m approaching a crossroads where I need to take a step in any direction. The opportunities are endless and the possibilities are so jarring because my imagination is spinning me round and round with thoughts. Some are even rediculous. I keep saying I want to travel, move to another state or country to work, or just stay put in NYC. How do I know what to do? This uncertainty better breed opportunity, or it will just breed a frozen state of mind and confusion. I wish I wish with all my might that something strikes and moves me.

Nostalgic Movie Scores

• The Secret Garden
• A Little Princess
• Little Women
• Finding Neverland
• Gladiator
• Braveheart
• Chocolat
• Forrest Gump
• Practical Magic
• Cider House Rules
• Edward Scissorhands

Lack of conflict but Lack of color?

 

There is so much more in Love than Black & White

Countries are possibly worlds, because I’m certainly in another. I’m on vacation but I can’t run away from my brain. Full of fears and uncertainty and panic for decisions. This world is entirely different than the one I’ve escaped from for some time. The rocky curves of life’s terrain are replaced with a hushed path through middle ground of just living with contentment. If it weren’t for my thoughts this would be paradise. Days have passed, I’ve missed some drama, and I’m ok. But when I think of everything I miss it like crazy and want to go rushing back to the brouhaha. I miss running- in more than one way. It was kind of a rude awakening to be sitting in this land with people who don’t belong and trying to explain the ways of this world to them. They will never get it. They will never see it with the same peripheral vision as I. But my vision is so perfect and multi angled that it is practically a curse in its vividness. Because it allows me to focus on so many things and not be able to be settled with just one. Instead of my world, my life, my way, and my group…I have my worlds, my lives, my ways, and wander through groups.  How can I make choices when I’m so used to having it all? I think I’d miss the colored bits of highs and lows if I just decided to opt for the slightly perfect vision of me running through that calm sprawling playing field of mediocrity…it’s just too black and white.