Puff & Sneak

It didn’t start or end with Jenga Block Playing in a Bar. That was just somewhere in the middle. This week has been hazy, in that warm, happy, time passing sort of way. I noticed his status on Facebook and decided to surprise him on Christmas day at the Mac store with a Tall nonfat extra salty salted caramel signature hot chocolate with whip cream and a shot of espresso…but I had to wait till he was finished,  and it turned into cold chocolate even tho I begged Starbucks to make it extra hot for him. Sentiment noted anyway me thinks. I got to see Po and the kiddies over the weekend, and I tried to like Bink but he seems so selfish to be the father of three. D&D had a party and I had to speak to my best friend’s ex. Who remains EX in all sense of the word. He’s just not the greatest egg. I was apprehensive about cat sitting, but I took a deep breath and a large sip of wine, and then Jack, and then I concocted a chocolate minty cocktail. The result  felt like a happy pill and has officially shelved my fear of cats. Amber and Tim came over, and I shared my ChocolateMintyCocktail and we watched Marry Poppins. I still remember every word. So I recited it under my breath, songs and all. Lazy day yesterday got to see old friends- the kind that I can go without speaking to and still are close as kin. Then I saw Amber again and we saw Folky Gypsy like singing by Mr. Shmidt at The Living Room, and then we went to play Jenga at the Bar with Brent and Co. So that’s where Jenga fell (no pun intended….possibly).  I’m using green tea and honey and my brain to fight my body’s attempt to have a Cold. I think it’s working. I’m in a happy cave…and my content state correlates perfectly into an alternative understanding of the names of the Kitties here. Sneak & Puff. Inhale & Exhale. Feel good….

Living The Dream

I live a philosophy without realizing it. I’m not intimidated to take chances when it comes to reaching out and reaching up for things on tiptoes, to contacts out of my league. I just figure it pays to try. Usually attempts lead me to gold. So while I sat in photography class this summer and lusted after your photos, I had no idea I’d ever have a chance to get close to your inner circle. It’s funny that good things come in threes and once a topic surfaces in life, it tends repeats itself soon after. A posting on an art job site teased me to email something short, sweet, and sincere. The response told me to be at the studio at 3 o’ clock. Perfect. Because Friday’s are easy. But not when snow decides to try and cover NYC to answer people’s White Christmas Wishes. But it was all worth it to sit in the studio and speak to the darlings that are your team. I hope they fell for me like I fell for them. I wish I wish with all my might to enter your circle, even if it means the snow has melted by Christmas.

That Day was a Wonderful Day

A perfect day might start in dread of regular routine that gets sweaty. It did in my case, and little did I know that after I pushed through running 7.5 miles I’d be running off the treadmill and into a perfect day.

It was frigid, don’t get me wrong. But the sun was shining so strong that we wondered how it can warm us from so far away, and pondered how scorching it must be up close. Vin & Max day did in fact happen. Brunch at one at a place called Egg in Williamsburg right off the L train. That neighborhood is love at first stroll, and I was utterly enamoured. The vintage sweaters and brunch spots and pretty people.

The tea hit the spot while we were waiting to be seated, with steam from the drink and our mouths mixing together to form dramatic poofs. The food was scrumptious, the conversation was splendid, and my mind and body purred with contentment. We walked into that wonderful store with all things Alice, things from households ages ago & past, and simply darling. Now the tiny brass pocketknife sits on a chain around my neck, and the Gingerbread Man stands upon a baking timer. I certainly will be back in that shop again.

I decided to walk across the bridge to get back home, despite your warnings of the cold. It was magical. Like seeing the city from an entirely different world. I was numb and frozen by the end, by my core was bursting with happiness and warmth. I felt so alive.

And then Rockwood was open with people and music and Scott, even though it was four. It was surreal and wonderful. So was the spicy drink. So was the fact that a bunch of children soon entered for a Rock School music show. Little Children starting their music journey on Saturday afternoon in Rockwood Music Hall. It was like a glimpse of the future. Precious.

So Scott sipped jasmine tea with me, and then I went to the French apartment. I entered with a culture shock, and it took a little while to warm up. But now I’ve got a born & raised in Champagne crush. And I can’t even pronounce his name. The scents and tastes were analyzed. Champagne, Rum, and Red Wine. I was happily tipsy and my nose was filled with wonderful aromas when I took my leave of the Gentlemen. For I was tired, and a Lady needs her beauty sleep, so he sent me off with two bottles of Red. To remember him by?

Perfect Day. Perfect Night. I pray I pray with all my might, that this goes forth similarly into the week.

Pride

Their own buffet. Food for the stars.

My soul-friend (this is a new term I’m trying out) is a figure skater and she has the most discipline and most positive intuitive views and values about life. Even when she falls on the ice and hurts and is cold, she can pick herself up, brush it off, and do it again. And she doesn’t just keep this energy to herself to keep just herself going. She spreads it and genuinely makes it work on others too. She cares for the ones she loves equally and even more than herself. She plans,  solves problems, and faces challenges for me as if they are her own. Because in her mind she knows they really are. Because she gets it. Because she redefined what friendship should mean. One soul dwelling in two bodies. She lives and breathes this philosophy and it shows. So when I finally saw her skate live (after two years of knowing and loving her) at the tree lighting ceremony on Long Island with Ashanti, and it was so cold outside that even people draped in fur were shivering with blue lips,  they still skated a dreamy performance. She still smiled as she was tossed gracefully in the frigid air. Because she knows when the juice is worth the squeeze.

Unfinished Art

“It just takes some getting used to, it just takes some getting used to…it’s all, it’s all…It’s not the changes but the spaces in between… it’s not the story, but the cuts between the scenes…it’s the part where your eyes get in focus a minute just before you notice, the images align naturally…”

Life is so cyclical.

It’s almost comical because you’d think we’d all learn after being tossed around the roller coaster once or twice or even five times. But still we get all shocked when it happens yet again. When we get up all dizzy from something we go through and can’t believe we didn’t see it coming. Even that feeling when I realize it’s already black Friday again. And the Christmas trees are back on the curb, for sale. And my face gets slapped because I’m just too sweet. How much time has to pass before we are fully adjusted to the Light even when it’s really Dark?

‘Tis the same amount of time till that pretty image comes clear and aligned and all the fogginess that makes me sick to my stomach dissipates and I feel happy again. Because that energy invested in a ring around a not so rosy journey is restored and I’m back to Me. Happily me. In between Scenes, cut yet restored, floating thankfully in Space, waiting for the next Change.

Picture Yourself

Thank Goodness. for Thanksgiving. and Giving Thanks.

Stars & City Lights

Man Verses Nature. A Building Versus a Tree. But together they Shine.

Shane.

You’ll never know the whole truth. You’ll know I was there for you when she doubted you in all your rock-star tours and girl deep experiences. You’ll know how badly you wanted me because I was a voice of reason and so chilled out and saw things with so many angles. You’ll know that I was there for you that fateful night when you broke up but were still in a relationship on facebook and myspace, but we already had plans to hang out as friends. But then she died. And You’ll always know how I was there for you the next few months to hold your hand in spirit as you felt less than dead and able to breathe and cope with each day. You’ll know how you called me up and I picked up while I was in Sephora happy to see your name in my caller I.D. and you told me you’d be playing in Greenwich village, and I showed up and got in with my fake I.D. You calmed my anxiety down with drink tickets so I wouldn’t sit in a paranoid snit thinking they knew it wasn’t me. But those drink tickets bought me a drunken happy state. You’ll never know that Martin, who was wearing the exact same black skinny jeans as me, sat down and told me I was cute and only backed off when I mentioned I was there for you. You’ll know that we went to another party and drank further into oblivion, and made out together with the other hooking up people in the back of the cab. You’ll know that we were in a suite full of rock stars but we managed to get a bed and we had quite the time. You’ll know I was one of your possibly many conquests, and You might know yourself to be one of mine. But You’ll never know the whole Truth. 

 

first time